Normal
by Escape my reality
Summary: They keep telling me to try and be normal again, like it's something I could could actually turn on and off. Well after everything I've been through, after the pain and monsters and villains; after the flying and angels and heroes, after everything I have seen and experienced it's simply impossible, and thank god for that.


Disclaimer: I own nothing.

**Normal**

"Just act like you did before you went to the digital world". That's what my mom told me. "stop thinking so hard about what happened and just let it go Hikari, just forget. It's over now, it's never coming back. Yes I know its hard but your just eight years old, you shouldn't have to worry so much. Yes I know tailmon was your, sorry, is your friend but you need to let her go. It's unhealthy to just stay up in your room all the time. Here, Tara wants to have a play date with you tomorrow wont that be fun? What do you mean it's boring? But you used to play dolls with her all the time Kari! Yes I know it's different now but maybe you'll move on if you just, just, just try and be normal again."

Try to be"normal", that's something I thought I would be able give up after I met tailmon. After I walked in a world with phone booths that worked without electricity, with crests that granted their holders power, and monsters, no digimon, that defied everything I had ever considered possible or real. How could I ever go back to playing with dolls or watching TV about adventures when I had lived one instead?

When I first tailmon and she told me I was the eighth digidestined I thought "thank god" because then I would never be normal again. Normal was boring. Normal was being like every other kid. I wanted to be a superhero, like Starfire or Superwomen! Or maybe I could just be like Sora and birdramon . I didn't care! I had my own digimon partner now, a group of friends who trusted me and would be there for me, even a villain to fight. It sounded just like a movie and I was so excited!

I guess I was pretty silly back then. Weird that I say back then when it was only a few weeks ago. It's funny. When I think back I remember being concerned about food, and shelter, and even bathroom breaks. Funny, they never show those parts in the movies. But then they also don't mention how terrified everyone is of failing. Of literally causing the death of two worlds because you couldn't fight hard enough. They don't talk about how bad you feel when your friend is dying right in front of you and you don't even have time to mourn because the bad guys won't wait. So you just have to muster up and keep fighting even though all you want to do is curl into a corner and cry. Strange, I don't remember that ever happening in any of the TV shows I watched.

But then that was the reason we were chosen I guess. The reason that, out of all the kids in the entire world, we were the ones to become digidestined. We had something in us. Either Courage or Friendship or Love, Sincerity, Knowledge, Reliability, Hope or my own crest, Light, that allowed us to go on even when we thought it was impossible, to shoulder the burden of two worlds and save them both. It's pretty amazing if you think about it. Six eleven year olds and two eight year olds saved the world. Now I would watch that!

But then it was all over. The digimon are gone. My partner, tailmon, is gone, and nothing can go back to the way it was. My parents don't get it. When they tell me to "just act like you did before you went to the digital world" like it's a choice. Like being the barer of the crest of light is just something I can switch on and off. No. I cant go back to being normal again. I refuse! I won't forget about Tailmon, I won't forget about our adventures, and I won't forget about the friends I made and lost along the way. So maybe I'm not saving the world anymore. I don't care. It happened and I will always remember it and because of that I will never be "normal". I know that one day, one day I will return to the digital world and on that day I'll be glad I'm weird or special or whatever they want to call it because a normal kid could never survive the digital world. They'd be eaten in second, or give up, or worst of all, not even care about the amazing chance they'd been given. Thank god I'm not, and will never, ever be normal by any stretch of the definition.  
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